Marty and I have been reading all the hype about Aquaman so we got tickets for today’s 4:30 showing. Right off let me say that I enjoyed the ads and the previews as much as the film itself. At least the ads and previews were over quickly. I missed an important factor in judging a film before you see it. If the running time is 2:22 – which added up is a total of 6 – and I think we all know who the number 6 represents – buckle up and get ready to exercise some real patience.

Aquaman was part cartoon, comic book, computer graphics, way too many sub plots, cheesy characters and dialogue. Aquaman himself had more lives than all the feral cats East of the Mississippi. The volume was over the top loud. Our “local” friends will understand when I say the volume for this film was so loud it made the Christ Fellowship Praise and Worship Music seem like the “mute” button was on.

The plot was as mish-mashed as a potato grinder. It was a combination of Samson, Jonah and the Whale, big men with Mommy issues and more characters on the screen at the same time – if you count sea creatures – than I could keep track of. I swore the film came to an end three or four times only to finally wind down to what can mercifully be described as thank goodness this is over.

If there are 20,000,000 North Americans that walked out of the theater thinking this was really entertaining then I am encouraged because anything is possible – including hopefully a come back for old, over weight, white bald men.