Imagine if you will watching an NFL playoff game between two 10 and 6 teams – neither of which has any offense and after not one – not two – but three overtime periods the losing team fumbles a punt and the winning team falls on the ball in the end zone. It was an epic defensive battle!
After two and one half hours of the most patience I have showed since since watching a baseball game back when I was recovering from my second rotater cuff surgery – on 40mg of morphine washed down with Long Islands – The Revenant finally came to an end. I was really so proud of myself for sitting through the entire film! When we got up from the luxury reclining seats at Cineopolis in Jupiter and the blood rushed to my brain I said out very loud to no one in particular “I feel like I just read Gone With The Wind.” I know you would have been more impressed if I said “War and Peace” but I did read the comic book condensed version for Senior English in High School.
My new found patience of Job aside – I must say that Tom Hardy and Leonardo did a great job of acting. Tom Hardy you ask? Who is that? Mad Max, Legend, Batman, Warrior and Inception – mostly as “the bad guy.” OK, I’ll admit that Leo did a great job in the lead role. He was outstanding! The only people that deserve more credit than Leo are his make up artist and who ever computer generated the bear mauling scene. Even I winced at that one – very realistic – if you are into bear maulings.
The leading role however was played by the entire crew who operated in the magnificent yet extremely cold scenes that were beautifully and dramatically shot in Argentina, Canada and Montana. Who knew it was cold in Argentina? I thought they play polo there. On behalf of the harsh and bitter cold reality the actors, film crew, directors, make up and costume artists and assorted casts all went through to bring you this bloated 2.5 hour film – the Oscar goes to the “harsh yet beautiful and stunning reality of nature above 9,000 feet.” On behalf of God and his creation the Oscar will be accepted by some agnostic location producer we should all be praying for.
SPOILER ALERT! If you have not read the book do not, I repeat do not go on line and read how the book ends. Good news – if you cheated and went on line – the movie has a far more satisfying ending than the book – though I did not read it and only looked at the ending of Tony’s paper book version.
To misquote the wise and ancient philosopher Clint Eastwood “Go ahead punk – are you feeling patient today!”